#MCCOTVoices {3}
The need to change my life was born under the desperation to regain what I had lost and to find myself back!
In 2013, I was at a deep end of an agonizing divorce. I had a stressful fashion design job in the hectic New York City and two houses with heavy mortgages piled up like a weight of the world on my shoulders. I was the breadwinner, supporting an over-controlling, narcissistic sociopathic husband. He had not held any paying job for 18 years of our marriage! In addition, I had lost my true self after years of compromising and letting the person I loved control me! Finally, I knew I had to save myself from drowning and filed for a divorce. The long divorce process was tormenting, but at the same time I have slowly found my way back to who I am. I started to draw and paint again. I was weaving a dream of building a sustainable artist’s retreat in my motherland, Malaysia. I collected photos, wrote down ideas to incorporate creativity, organic gardening, sustainable lifestyle, and even had images of how I would dress daily and wear fresh flowers on my hair! After three years of countless court appearances, lawyers' negotiations, anger, and heartache, it is finally over, but with a high price. I lost more than half of what I owned; financial investments, 401K retirement, and a house! And my ex-husband was rewarded three years of rehabilitation alimony which took me five years to pay off. That's what my freedom is worth!
The journey to life in Tuscany happened when the Universe heard me!
“Under the Tuscan Sun” has captured
many people's imagination, especially women. I watched the movie for the first
time after I had gained my freedom and settled back into my “Old new self”.
When the movie ended, I said it loud to Rocky, my English bulldog, “ I want to
sell the house and buy us a villa in Tuscany!” Of course, that was just a silly
thought then. I have never been to Italy and let alone can afford a villa.
(Universe heard me?) In the fall of 2017, I finally made my first trip to Italy
to pay homage to all the old masters of the Renaissance in Florence and the new
contemporary of the Venice Biennale. I came to Italy in search of creative
inspiration but turned out to have found Love! I have found a man who restored
my faith in love. (Let's call him Mr. V)
Fast forward to another visit to Italy a year later. I was standing at the window of a medieval tower overlooking the valley of rolling hills in Tuscany. The greenery and tranquillity of the landscape below stretch into an infinity. I snapped a few photos and thought aloud, “How lucky one can live in this green heaven! I wish someday I could. “ (Universe heard me? Again?) Another forward in time to 2019, I have decided that I’m going to take a giant leap of fate and move to Italy. I sold my house in Brooklyn, New York, and looking to buy a home in Tuscany. After many online properties listing that Mr. V ventured out to look at on my behalf, I finally came across one old farmhouse with three beautiful arch windows that ticked many boxes. With the video call on the spot and photos sent to me of this property, I decided I had found my home! The following day, while turning on my computer, I couldn't believe my eyes, the house, with three beautiful arch windows embraced by the green rolling hills valley, was on the desktop! In the picture I took while standing at the window of a medieval tower. Universe heard me, he answered me!
In the past four years, despite the world standing still during the covid pandemic, Mr. V and I had slowly carved and transformed the farmhouse we call “La Canonica di Luco”. We share the same passion for slow living and working with our hands, I make pottery, and he makes wooden crafts. Life here moves in the rhythm of four seasons. In springtime, we foraged wild vegetables such as asparagus, garlic, tender leaves of poppies, and all types of herbs. The sweet smell of Acacia and Sambuco flowers makes delicious jam and syrup. In summer, blackberries grow abundantly in our valley. Figs trees also grow wildly along the roads, and we often jump off the car, grabbing a handful for a “roadside breakfast” before continuing our daily ride into town. Fall is the season for nuts, and I think the squirrels might be unhappy to share their walnut trees with me! In winter, the hunters keep the traditions of sharing what they hunt around our property. Besides what the surrounding land provided us, we grow organic fruits and vegetables and make extra virgin olive oil from our olive trees. In 2021, We started a lavender farm to produce lavender essential oil, and now we have 10,000 plants. Recently we have been registered and approved as an Organic Farm! The next project in the making is renovations on our vacation rental apartments, and we are looking forward to hosting guests in our Agriturismo!
I have now lived the life I had envisioned in my scrapbook ten years ago and no longer need to escape from reality. I recalled watching the mirror reflection of my face during the hours of despair and told myself, “If I can’t change the circumstances I’m in, I must change how I think!” So, I did. And now, I’m here, blissful under the Tuscan sunlight!
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